Many of the thirty-million who recently lost their job also lost a chunk of their identity, some of their interpersonal relationships, and/or some of their self-esteem. Although, for some, losing their job was a blessing in disguise.
I swear on a stack of Car and Driver magazines the following is more or less true.
I was about age 27 working as the Industrial Relations Manager at White Farm Equipment at Hopkins Mn.
The first person I personally ever laid off, cried so much, I just plowed through. The second person was a 50ish-year-old and 25 to 30 years into his job as a Cost Accountant. He knew what was coming and was red-faced as he walked into my office. I thought a friendly smile would ease some of the tension. I was wrong. As I asked him to sit down and gave him a slight smile followed immediately by his tears flowing while he screamed/cried about me being a terrible monster who obviously enjoyed laying him off because I was smiling. He went on calling me nasty things and berating me for being a heartless SOB for like ten minutes.
His job pretty much defined his identity, and like so many others who feel their identity slip away, he was terrified. If I am not this, then who am I?
I was about age 24 working as an Unemployment Claims Representative in the downtown Minneapolis Unemployment office.
The claimant (lady) was in her mid-thirties, As a matter of fact, as you could imagine, she said she was terminated from her job after her husband found out and insisted she break off the long affair she was having with her boss.
The response statement from her boss confirmed the basic details. Except, he contended, since the affair lasted for over five years, by refusing to continue the affair, she in effect quit the job. I ruled she was terminated through no fault of her own. He appealed the decision.
A month or so later, at the hearing of the appeal, the employer (my guess in his mid-fifties) and the claimant greeted each other by affectionately hugging and gently asking about each other’s well-being. During the official and recorded hearing, they each described how much they enjoyed working together and freely talked about their mutually enjoyable relationship (affair). He told her she could have her job back if they could continue the affair. She told him she would think about it but she still loved her husband very much. The appeals judge even asked if they felt this relationship was equivalent to prostitution. Both said it was not.
This is an extreme case, however, interpersonal relationships (mostly platonic) at work are common. When the employment ends often the future of those relationships can be challenging.
I was about age 33 working as an Administrative Assistant to the Anoka County Engineer.
A recently hired Highway Design Engineer would sometimes miss afternoon meetings with some weak excuse. He had been warned a couple of times not only about skipping meetings but also the poor quality of some of his work.
One afternoon I went into his office to leave a note on his desk about something or another. I saw him lying on the floor, knees to chest, with his head on a pillow, a blanket pulled over his shoulders, under a drafting table behind some boxes taking a nap.
He was well hidden unless you happened to stand right behind his desk. I did not wake him. The Assistant County Engineer and I took a couple of pictures and let him sleep until he woke up about an hour later. I handled the termination. It is one thing to doze at your desk but quite another to make a cubby hole with a pillow and blanket to take an afternoon nap.
A couple of months after I let him go, I saw him at an engineering conference. He was now working for an engineering firm. We shook hands and we chatted pleasantly for a couple of minutes. A couple of years later I heard he was doing well at the firm and was promoted to a manager position.
Sometimes a change in scenery is best for both the employer and the employee.
Another unemployment office story from about 40 years ago. A janitor working in the corporate office of Daytons was standing at the urinal next to a Dayton’s executive who had repeatedly complained about the quality of the janitor’s work. The janitor backed up and sprayed down the exec. He told me it was worth it. He was disqualified for Unemployment benefits but found another janitor job in a week or two.
Sometimes shit happens. People do what they do, then move on.
Back in my Unemployment office days, I bet I gave something like the following speech a thousand times. While you are working, a job is a lot more than just a job. However, once you lose your job, it was just a job. It is time to focus less on your old job and more on getting your next job. Even when you think about your old job, focus on how the good experience gained from your last job is maybe what will convince your next employer you are qualified for your next job.
Good luck to all who will need to find a new job before their unemployment insurance runs out.
The closer you look the more you see. www.scaleandperception.com