I suppose the way to start is to just start with my colon cancer is back and surgery is scheduled to remove most of the rest of my colon.  Which theoretically will make me cancer free. 

Nineteen months ago, a couple days after Thanksgiving 2022. a cancerous portion of my colon was removed.  Almost exactly one year later, a couple days after Thanksgiving 2023, another cancerous portion of my colon was removed.  This upcoming surgery will remove all but a very small section of my remaining colon. All three colon cancers are genetically of the same strain. 

How my immunotherapy got recommended and approved is this whole complicated, nearly a miracle story, however the bottom line is seven weeks after the second colon cancer surgery, mid January, I started  immunotherapy (Keytruda).  They said, no guarantee it will work, but cross your fingers and hope, maybe, just maybe, my cancer days were in the rear view mirror. 

Every three weeks for a year I was to receive an infusion.  I tolerated the treatment well.  Of some concern, my hemoglobin levels were down, so I was also given  a couple iron infusions.  Keytruda does not always work however, often it does work. 

Just to be safe, I was supposed to be getting a colonoscopy every three months.  However, when scheduling, the earliest my surgeon was available to give me the colonoscopy was a little over five months from my surgery. 

Coming out of the anesthesia from my colonoscopy my surgeon said things looked good. As is standard procedure, they took a tissue sample which was sent off to be checked just to be sure.  A week later I was told by my oncologist and my colon surgeon that cancer cells had been detected in my colon.  Not many, but enough cells to say my cancer had returned.

Whether it was an act of a higher power that the cancer was found, I’ll never know.  However, I was told the number of cancer cells they found were so few that had my colonoscopy been two months earlier, as was the original plan, the cancer would likely not have been found.  Bullet dodged. 

My immunotherapy was stopped because it had not worked.  Stopping the immunotherapy was a blow to my morale. Having been repeatedly warned immunotherapy does not always work, my mind focused on the idea that “not always” means, sometimes it does work. No miracle cure for me. Shit is the word I said out loud to the doctor. 

There was then another tumor conference of relevant practitioners where my case was the subject.   The mutual decision was reached that I should have most of my colon removed.  Which is scheduled for July 16, 2024.  So depending on when you are reading this is just about to happen or has already happened.

I am told my life will be different with almost no colon.  Colons do serve a purpose after all.  However, nobody is telling me I am in grave danger of dying soon. So, that is what I know.

So this will be, or has been, depending on when you read this, my fifth cancer surgery.  My first was a cancerous tumor around the blood vessel that fed my right kidney.   Which required removing the blood vessel and thus also my right kidney.  Then about fourteen months later my cancerous prostate was removed.  Next came the colon cancer surgeries described above. 

Emotionally, this diagnosis has hit me harder than the last three times I was told I had cancer but not as hard as the first time.  To this day, I chock-up a bit when I talk or even think about the first time. That one hit me out of the blue and at first my prognosis looked rough.  As it played out, and it turned out not as bad as they told me it might well turn out. 

So here I am, facing cancer surgery number five. It’s been about six weeks since I got the news.  At first I was shocked, maybe a bit overwhelmed.  In my head, for about a week, I seriously considered not going through the surgery.  Mentally having cancer and being treated for cancer is depressing. Happy to be alive, depressed to keep having serious, life threatening cancer.  

My brain was running the idea that I’ve had a good run but even good things come to an end over and over again.  However, I got over it.  I met with the surgeon and got a good explanation of what was to be done.  Then surgery gets scheduled, plans get made, life moves forward and I move forward.  It didn’t take long for me to snap out of my funk and decide to move forward also. 

My surgery is classified as major surgery however, only moderately dangerous surgery.  

I have accepted that my cancer has returned and that soon I will be once again, recovering from cancer surgery. In addition I continue to be amazed at how lucky I am that my cancers continue to be caught early.  

The hardest part for me has been the same since my first cancer was discovered back in November 2019. Cancer is a hard thing to put in the rear view mirror. If you look back at our past appointment calendars there are several dozen medical appointments related to prevention or early detection of cancer. Blood draws, CT scans, specialists, appointments, trouble getting through to make an appointment.  You get the idea. . 

I’ve done seven colonoscopy type preps and about eight CT scans in the past two years.   There is no way to count them but I would bet I’ve had fifty blood draws in the past two years. I’ve had eight iron infusions.  I had seven immunotherapy infusions.  My blood pressure gets checked so often by professionals, I’ve stopped taking my own blood pressure. 

So here I am living my life day by day just like everyone does. My life is what it is and I am moving forward as best I can just like everyone else does.  

The closer you look the more you see.