Many of the thirty-million who recently lost their job also lost a chunk of their identity, some of their interpersonal relationships, and/or some of their self-esteem.  Although, for some, losing their job was a blessing in disguise.

I swear on a stack of Car and Driver magazines the following is more or less true. 

I was about age 27 working as the Industrial Relations Manager at White Farm Equipment at Hopkins Mn. 

The first person I personally ever laid off, cried so much, I just plowed through.  The second person was a 50ish-year-old and 25 to 30 years into his job as a Cost Accountant.  He knew what was coming and was red-faced as he walked into my office.  I thought a friendly smile would ease some of the tension. I was wrong.  As I asked him to sit down and gave him a slight smile followed immediately by his tears flowing while he screamed/cried about me being a terrible monster who obviously enjoyed laying him off because I was smiling.  He went on calling me nasty things and berating me for being a heartless SOB for like ten minutes. 

His job pretty much defined his identity, and like so many others who feel their identity slip away, he was terrified.  If I am not this, then who am I? 

I was about age 24 working as an Unemployment Claims Representative in the downtown Minneapolis Unemployment office.

The claimant (lady) was in her mid-thirties, As a matter of fact, as you could imagine, she said she was terminated from her job after her husband found out and insisted she break off the long affair she was having with her boss. 

The response statement from her boss confirmed the basic details.  Except, he contended, since the affair lasted for over five years, by refusing to continue the affair, she in effect quit the job. I ruled she was terminated through no fault of her own. He appealed the decision.  

A month or so later, at the hearing of the appeal, the employer (my guess in his mid-fifties) and the claimant greeted each other by affectionately hugging and gently asking about each other’s well-being.   During the official and recorded hearing, they each described how much they enjoyed working together and freely talked about their mutually enjoyable relationship (affair).  He told her she could have her job back if they could continue the affair.  She told him she would think about it but she still loved her husband very much.  The appeals judge even asked if they felt this relationship was equivalent to prostitution.  Both said it was not.

This is an extreme case, however, interpersonal relationships (mostly platonic) at work are common.  When the employment ends often the future of those relationships can be challenging. 

I was about age 33 working as an Administrative Assistant to the Anoka County Engineer.  

A recently hired Highway Design Engineer would sometimes miss afternoon meetings with some weak excuse.  He had been warned a couple of times not only about skipping meetings but also the poor quality of some of his work.

One afternoon I went into his office to leave a note on his desk about something or another.   I saw him lying on the floor, knees to chest, with his head on a pillow, a blanket pulled over his shoulders, under a drafting table behind some boxes taking a nap.

He was well hidden unless you happened to stand right behind his desk.  I did not wake him.  The Assistant County Engineer and I took a couple of pictures and let him sleep until he woke up about an hour later. I handled the termination.  It is one thing to doze at your desk but quite another to make a cubby hole with a pillow and blanket to take an afternoon nap.  

A couple of months after I let him go, I saw him at an engineering conference. He was now working for an engineering firm.  We shook hands and we chatted pleasantly for a couple of minutes.  A couple of years later I heard he was doing well at the firm and was promoted to a manager position. 

Sometimes a change in scenery is best for both the employer and the employee.

Another unemployment office story from about 40 years ago.  A janitor working in the corporate office of Daytons was standing at the urinal next to a Dayton’s executive who had repeatedly complained about the quality of the janitor’s work.  The janitor backed up and sprayed down the exec.  He told me it was worth it.  He was disqualified for Unemployment benefits but found another janitor job in a week or two.  

Sometimes shit happens. People do what they do, then move on.

Back in my Unemployment office days, I bet I gave something like the following speech a thousand times.  While you are working, a job is a lot more than just a job. However, once you lose your job, it was just a job.  It is time to focus less on your old job and more on getting your next job.  Even when you think about your old job, focus on how the good experience gained from your last job is maybe what will convince your next employer you are qualified for your next job.   

Good luck to all who will need to find a new job before their unemployment insurance runs out.

 

The closer you look the more you see. www.scaleandperception.com

Six months ago, December 5, 2019, my right kidney and the associated cancerous tumor were removed.  My feelings about my kidney cancer are mixed. 

I did not have any pain or other symptoms prior to the surgery.  The surgery thus did not relieve any pain or symptoms. I know the cancer was real.  I saw the image of the tumor bisected on a table after it was removed.  I read the report confirming the tumor was cancerous.  

However, in my head, the discomfort I experienced post-surgery is associated with the surgery, not the reason for the surgery, kidney cancer.  For me, my cancer remains an almost theoretical thing more than an actual thing. 

In late June I will get another CT Scan and a couple of days later will meet with a Urologist.  I assume everything will be fine.   

Post-surgery, I slept on a recliner for a couple of weeks because my back really did not like me laying flat.  However, it got better.  We’ve since got a Sleep Number Bed and that is working great. 

On my right side of my abdomen are six small prominent, reddened surgery scars. I get tired a little more easily than I think I should.  Which is normal, I am told, until my left kidney grows larger and thus cleans my blood better.  In the meantime it is getting better but sort of annoying.

When I lift something heavy or stretch out like when I put a box on a high or low shelf, I feel a slight twinge in the area where my kidney was. The weirdest thing is when I take a drink of cold liquid, I can feel the cold as it goes down my throat into my stomach. My doctor said he had never heard of that before.  

I am on Medicare which made the cost of all of this pretty much a non-issue.  I am providing some of the details below because I imagine some are wondering how much it cost.

The removal of a kidney and cancerous tumor by a team of renowned surgeons followed by a four-day stay in a hospital is not cheap. The follow-up care by my normal doctor and my Urologist is not cheap. There was a very thorough pre-op physical.  Oh, add the ultrasound scan, CT scan, and the radiologists who interpreted them.  Did I mention the anesthesiologists?  Several lab tests and the followup calls from the nurses to make sure I was recovering properly.  The list goes on.

I only have a vague idea of what it cost to remove a kidney and a tumor.  I got numerous very confusing Explanation of Benefits forms which came over several months.  I tried to keep track in my head.  I think the amount billed was in the forty to fifty thousand dollars range. The amount actually paid by my Medicare Advantage plan was about half of that.

The important thing for me was how much I owed. When I got the news that I needed my kidney removed I called UCare, my Medicare Advantage Plan provider. I was told it would cost me a $250 copay for the hospital and $20 for each specialist visit. They were right. Now six months out, I paid the $250 copay for the hospital stay. I also paid like three or four $20 copays for specialist visits. 

Of course, each month a $329.20 premium payment ($144.20 for Medicare Part B and $185 for my UCare Classic Medicare Advantage Plan) gets deducted from my monthly Social Security.  Which is both convenient and assures the premiums will be paid even if I am physically or mentally unable to do so.   

Just a side note. For me, kidney cancer brought into focus just how important universal healthcare is.  I am now a strong supporter.  There are worse models than the Medicare model. 

Starting to get exercise was recommended by my doctor so I joined the YMCA. I  was a couple of weeks into using an elliptical machine when the  COVID-19 pandemic closed them down.  I enjoyed the Y and am looking forward to getting back at it. 

As far as COVID-19 goes, cancer and only one kidney are on my list of several “underlying conditions”.  Being reasonably careful is about the best I can do about it.   Worrying is not productive. 

I know I had a serious form of cancer and had major surgery.  Which nobody wants.  However, they are now a part of my life experience. It is like they were ingredients added to the stew which is my life. As weird as it sounds, somehow I think my life experience is richer having had this experience. 

Of course, my cancer gives me pause once in a while. There are times when I feel sorry for myself. Mostly, I am reminded life does not proceed in a predictable straight line. When the unpredictable happens, it adds more depth and breadth to my life.  Maybe I am now a slightly less boring person. 

We did several trips last year which resulted in some wonderful memories.  Between cancer and the COVID-19 Stay at Home order, our travel has stopped for the time being.  

Our life goes on.  I got a new lawnmower and mowed the lawn yesterday afternoon.  The lawn really didn’t need mowing but I really wanted to try out the mower.  Two days ago, we sat on a patio, distance talking to our grandkids.  Life is good. 

 

The closer you look, the more you see.  

www.scaleandperception.com