Linda just shakes her head as I wipe away a tear while watching Christmas movies.  Yes, I know they are sappy. I am not proud, I watch and enjoy Christmas movies.

The setup of every Christmas movie is a character unable to move beyond a past traumatic event and thus causing them issues. The bulk of the movie is about this person learning to accept the traumatic event for what it is and learning to move forward with their life.  

The main character of the movie is forced by circumstances out of their comfort zone and to  interact with a person(s) who is not part of their old comfort zone. It is never easy. The process of moving out of a comfort zone is fraught with drama and takes time.  We humans, and the lead characters in Christmas movies resist, change with a passion.

Just before the end of any Christmas movie, the main character chooses whether to go back to their old comfort zone or move forward and beyond the old.  Quite often the lead character ends up paying homage to a past traumatic event, and then, literally, looking in a different direction as they announce they will move forward to embrace their new life.  

I tear up at the scene which includes the moment where the character accepts the past for what it was, but realizes they are able to go beyond the past trauma and move forward.  It is a bittersweet moment. They loved their former life. Something dramatic happened. Life will never be the same again. Except, of course, they just learned life can be good again. It is a powerful realization.

The reality is, most everyone has past traumatic events in their lives.  People in our lives die. Jobs are lost. People get sick, disabled, distant, and the list goes on and on.   Over a period of a lifetime, life-changing stuff happens to most everyone.

One difference between real life and life in Christmas movies is in real life, people only mostly get over a past tragedy.  People only mostly move on. Moving out of a comfort zone is really hard. Moving on for most of us includes keeping a toe back there in the past.  We kind of move on but we can mentally go back to the past in a flash.

Then come the holidays. Events and circumstances can remind us of a point in our life we hoped would remain undisturbed.  Yet there that repressed memory is, staring us in the face. Maybe it was triggered by seeing that person at the get together, that commercial, or hearing a name not thought of for years.  The holidays often trigger a mental journey back to the past. Sometimes that memory is not a great place to visit.

For me, Christmas movies are a reminder we are able to move on after traumatic events.  Sure, it was tough for a while, but life is good. The best we can do is the best we can do.  The best we can do is move forward with our lives as best we can.

When I shed a little tear during the moving-on scene in a Christmas movie, it is not only for empathy toward that character.  Part of it is a tear of joy at being reminded we can acknowledge our past traumatic events and still move forward to lead a happy, fulfilling life.

So please be a bit extra tolerant of each other during the holiday season.  Be understanding when a person’s reaction seems out of proportion (too much or too little) or even a bit inappropriate.  Sometimes a memory triggered by a holiday is not a happy one. What they might need most is support and understanding.

In all Christmas movies, there is a person who helps the lead character to find a path forward and beyond a past tragedy.  The funny thing is the person who helps the lead character is often helped the most. Each of us can be that person who helps others and thus gets helped.

 

By the way.  Happy holidays.   

 

 What we perceive often depends on how close we look.

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